Synkroniciti is pleased to welcome back writer I. Jay Asher, based in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. We all have people in our lives who create strain and stress, and some of them seem to enjoy it. “How I Learned to Recognize and Survive a Toxic Neighbor” is about finding strength inside yourself to love yourself without the approval of those who seek to control and manipulate you, be they friends, colleagues or family members. “Frank worked from home, a computer genius. He was always there, always out and about. If anyone had told me at that time that his comings and goings were deliberate, calculated and emotionally destructive, I would not have understood. He worked to improve the property, and, as I said, was ready to listen and make all of us who live in the condo feel like the center of his universe.” After working as therapist for many years, Jay didn’t know how to deal with this toxic person. He was completely vulnerable, and not in the good sense. His story is a familiar one, but his honesty, his strategies and the terms he has gleaned to shed light on toxic machination are life-changing.
Read “How I Learned to Recognize and Survive a Toxic Neighbor” in Synkroniciti’s “Vulnerable” issue, available for pre-order here: https://synkroniciti.com/the-magazine/purchase-individual-issues/.
Fred Ebb and John Kander got it right when they composed the song, New York, New York. “If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.” Well, I made it in New York. I was a vice-president of design in the fashion industry. After twenty-five years in the Big Apple, I landed in Houston, Texas.
I met six youth who wanted to start a support group for gay and lesbian adolescents. They asked me to be a facilitator. I used my marketing skills to promote the group. We went from six youth to over one hundred in less than six months. I used my people skills to get qualified adults to work with the young people.
The youth, in return, gave my life a new direction. At the age of fifty-two, I registered at The University of Houston in the counseling department. I achieved a Master’s and Doctorate in family counseling. I moved to Fort Lauderdale and opened a private practice devoted to couples counseling.
In retirement, I started writing short plays, short stories, and finally novels. It’s been fun.
Follow Dr. I. Jay Asher on his website: irwinjayasher.com, where you can read his blog and check out his online course, Healing Sessions, for male survivors of childhood abuse.