Synkroniciti is honored to welcome back writer Lissa Staples of Colorado with an extremely moving prose poem/flash piece, “Every Time I Call.” Lissa writes of her mother, a former classical singer, a wonderful lively performer, entering the sunset of her life. It is a strange experience watching parents in advanced age–the mind and the body seem to be strangers at times, and it’s hard to know what is helpful.
“You are waiting to die and yet death frightens you. I don’t know how to help with that. Where are you? I am here on the other end of the phone, I answer. It is as if you have canceled your subscription to life. Once I called you in great distress over a personal issue but you were not engaged until I said, I need my mother. It was wonderful to hear that parental strength in your voice that let me know you were still there.”
Lissa’s great respect and love for her mother is palpable. It takes a great deal of vulnerability to admit that we don’t know what to do in the face of impending loss. Every trip, every visit could be the last, and yet we also need to keep living. The danger of becoming submerged in a parent’s pain is as real as our relationship with them is precious and there are moments when we feel inadequate and overwhelmed. Sometimes we feel as if we are being cruel. Lissa shows us that those passing fears are part of the grieving process, which starts far before the final loss, and that it is normal and okay to feel the strain. End of life issues are obviously incredibly personal, but sometimes the silence creates a sense of taboo and separation that is difficult to endure. How do we recover from the grief of losing a parent, not in one instant, but moment by moment?
Read “Every Time I Call” in Synkroniciti’s “Recovery” issue, available for purchase here: https://synkroniciti.com/the-magazine/purchase-individual-issues/.
Lissa Staples is a classical singer and an emerging writer. She has been a student at The Writers Studio since 2014 and won Synkroniciti’s short story contest with her piece, “The Month of Drowning,” which was published September 2023 and subsequently nominated for a Pushcart Prize. Her work can be read at Corvus Review, Synkroniciti, Heartwood Review, The Stickman Review, Bright Flash, Emerge, and The Write Launch, among others. She lives in Colorado.